Help for the Conflict Avoidant: a book review

The four words that fill the heart with fear: we need to talk. When you hear the phrase, what happens inside of you? Do you wonder what you have done? Do you think of someway to avoid the potential fall-out. Linda Minte is a therapist, academic and blogs regular on her BeliefNet blog, Doing Life Together. She wrote We Need to Talk to help people navigate the sometimes troubled waters of relational conflict.

The fourteen chapters of this book explore a number of issues that feed into the dynamics of conflict. These include trying to avoid it, trusting the other person, acknowledging differences, how negativity exasperates the issue, our different ‘styles’ in conflict, and solvable and unsolvable problems. Mintle also discusses at length the need to manage expectations and to have proper boundaries. She addresses the challenges of conflict within a blended family system, the different ways males and females approach sex, dealing with difficult people, the dynamics of anger and resentment and the power of forgiveness.

Mintle offers a great deal of sage advice and the sort of things that go on internally and interpersonally when we lock horns with another.She has written a self-help book to help people navigate through some difficult spots. While she has helpful insights for just about anyone I think you have to actually be in conflict to see the value of some of what she says. Still a helpful resource for the next time someone says we need to talk. I give this book 3.5 stars.

Notice of material connection, I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

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I am a pastor, husband, father, instigator, pray-er, hoper, writer, trouble-maker, peacemaker, and friend. Who are you?

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